Wieder ein seeehr kurzes Ficlet - habe zurzeit eine sehr große Affinität für Engel ;)


T O U C H E D

Ich habe soviel gesehen.
Wie die Welt sich entfaltete, die Menschen sich entwickelten, soviel Verbundenheit in einem Platz, Momente, in denen sich zwei Parteien die Hand gaben, voll Zuversicht im Herzen.

Ich sah Grausamkeit und Tod, rote Tränen die sich wie Flüsse durchs Land zogen, sich verzweigten und in die Erde drangen.
Verstanden habe ich es nie. Wie können sich Brüder und Schwestern nur bekämpfen?
Sie alle gleichen und machen doch Unterschiede untereinander. Denunzieren und erheben sich.

Gier treibt Menschen an. Sie reden ohne zu sprechen, sie hören ohne zu horchen.
Menschen lassen sich führen mit Scheuklappen auf den Augen, blind für die Wahrheit.

Nie habe ich in meinem Leben gefühlt. Ich beobachtete die Welt für Jahrtausende doch sie war kalt und leer, hatte für mich nichts zu bieten. Ich existierte distanziert zu ihr.

Doch dann traf ich jemanden.
Sein Herz, erfüllt von Liebe und Güte, glänzte in den schönsten Farben, wie Kristalle reflektiert in den Strahlen der Sonne.
Diese Gefühle waren gleißend und verbrannten mich, so unbekannt waren sie.
Und ich wollte nicht, dass sie aufhörten. Ich wollte für immer Sein werden, ihn behüten vor all dem Gräuel in dieser Welt.

Doch du hast mich nie gekannt.
Und so verabschiede ich mich, ab jetzt gilt meine Ewigkeit nur dir, mein Liebster, denn egal, wie viel ich sah in dieser Welt, nichts war je so schön wie du.

Dies ist ein kurzer Oneshot (für die ich bekannt bin :D) der mir mal einfach eingefallen ist, mit kleinen Songschnipseln gesprenkelt.
WARNUNG: mxm, wer's nicht mag, liest es einfach nicht ^^

WITHOUT YOU

My heart beats in
Silent sounds of loneliness

You’re tearing me apart… your love, as sweet as roses, it cuts me open from inside. I wish now I would have never known you, never let you touch me like that.
You stirred feelings I’ve never known to exist, never known to feel.
I knew how my life would play out, the life of a hooker, doing everything for a crumb of money. I sucked and I fucked, but I never loved.

Warm until seering
Good until bleeding

In-out, suck, blow – You never knew this life. Innocence lay over you like a shadow and I knew, my world would leave you disenchanted. And it did.

So much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me we both matter, don't we?

It took so much out of me to leave you behind, every. single. night.
I never wanted to. I wanted to feel the warmth of your breath, the sweetness of your lips.
I craved your love so badly. But I didn’t deserve it, so I always left.

I can feel you twist     
I can feel you writhe because
You‘re always near

And when I finally had you, it was the sweetest taste of paradise a human could ever have.
You gave me the feeling of worth, a feeling that was taken from me by all those disgusting suckers.
In all the years of humiliation, I finally found some peace… through you.

staying awake to chase a dream
tasting the air you're breathing in

But of course, this couldn’t last. God would never show me some mercy, would he? Hamilton caught us, a sin in his eyes, one of his golden boys wasting money away with love. The bastard could never understand so he reacted with the only thing he knew: violence.
His minions beated you until you were a bloody pulp. That night, I cared for you gently, knowing, this would be the last. One last kiss and I would leave you, my world.

And I'll feel my world crumbling
feel my life crumbling
feel my soul crumbling away
and falling away with you…

The rain was never disturbing the silence in the world, a world now shuttered and dank. I crept through the streets with a stinging emptiness in me, because there was nothing anymore, no feelings, no want. Every emotion had left my heart, because I didn’t want to feel. I had good reason - It would have killed me on the spot to have lost everything I never wanted.

Without any faith
Without any light
Condemn me to live
Condemn me to die
Inside I am dead

And, of course, Marcus Worthington who always had an eye on me, finally striked.
Hamilton was all too happy to get rid of me and get a shitload of cash on top of it. I didn’t decline.
What was left in this world without you? Who cared about life, or death, or anything in between?
I knew what I was going to do, the thing I do best: suck and fuck without any feelings.

The hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows
It's no stranger to you and me

But I never thought it would hurt so much to know.

Knowing what we could have had, how my life’s going to play out now: The life of the hooker who dared to love, mourning the only thing that ever mattered – but that’s not how it’s going to end.

It takes the pain away
But could not make me stay
it's way too broke to fix
no glue, no bag of tricks

And with one last thought to you, my love, I take this razorblade to my wrist, I close my eyes, I breathe in and I feel the pain leaving my body in harmony with the red substance that gave me life.
It blends with the water raining down on me. Every sorrow, every hurt, falling off of me…

The only thing that’s left in the end is you.

Without you, I was nothing. a filthy scoundrel, wasting away in this world - but you, you were the blood that gave me life, the air I breathed, the food that nourished me.

Without you, I’d be truly dead.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Was hält ihr davon? Höre gerne postive Meinung und/oder konstruktive Kritik!

Hallo :D
Erst einmal, ich bin Shirin, 14 Jahre alt und komme aus Köln. Da Schreiben und Bilder bearbeiten so das Einzige ist, was ich einigermaßen auf die Reihe bekomme, werde ich mal nach und nach meine Sachen veröffentlichen (soweit ich mit LJ klarkomme) ;)
Mein erstes Gedicht hier auf LJ wird "The Serpent and The Fruit" sein, dass durch eine Supernatural Geschichte auf fanfiction.net inspiriert wurde.
Danke fürs Lesen und ich würde mich über Meinungen, positiv und konstruktiv, freuen :)

THE SERPENT AND THE FRUIT

In the beginning, there was heaven and earth
the highest there was humanity’s birth
before the woman there was the man
that’s how everyone‘s story began

 but, behold, there are different versions to all
that the first woman felt the man not to be the summit
but to be in god’s eyes just as tall
but, oh, she was wrong, under him she was to belong
and without a thought, Lilith fled paradise in distraught

 for the first time, Adam was alone, a feeling so unknown
God made it right, took of him a bone, created his Eve
A bud, not there to deceive, all too naive

 The world moved on, with the mother of demons watching in
Jealous and proud, embracing god’s first sin
It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair,
why wouldn’t God even care?
She began to think, there was enough time to do
The love once for her, for them to outgrew

 Lilith marched into hell, as if God never had love
But strolling in the pit instead in the garden above
She was special, she knew as Lucifer did by first sight
Taken by her beauty and her ways, so godgiven
Together they would make their enemies outdriven

 The Lightbringer, he once was, into the oasis he’d slide
His former beauty he could barely hide
Underneath the guise of the serpent, not hard to miss
Offering Eve the apple, red and succulent,
promising her, one bite full of bliss
a promise of ascent, she could not withstand

 when the fruit gave her pleasure with it’s taste
the woman shared with her lover, no time to waste
although he knew it to be forbidden, he could not resist
with one bite in his mind there was no doubt to exist

 How could they know that they had changed,
from the father they loved they were estranged
the gates of paradise forever closed to their eyes
naked and ashamed, crying to the skies
how could they find their way without a guiding hand?
Lost and astray, like the drowning searching for land
Bittersweet memories of their life, gone like quicksand
Because no one banned from paradise could understand

 And what happened to the first, full of anger and pride?
She was dragged down into hell, screaming and defied